O Mennonite of mine

I have found a workout buddy to meet me at the gym... and while there is a good chance my sports bra will be showing at some point (accidentally of course) my new gym friend will be discreetly covering the crown of her head with a little lace cap.
I met her at a yogalates class this weekend and was instantly impressed with her confidence. Not to mention her ability to avoid piercing the top of her head with the hairpins securing her cap while executing some bizarro inverted pose.
She kept her socks on during the workout. It may have been that she, A. was cold, or B. had ugly feet, but I like to think that she is so devoted to her chaste lifestyle that she did not want to expose her tootsies to the wily eyes of the world.
She told me that she grew up in a darling community called "Honeybrook" where there are more horse and buggies than there are cars.
Now, I know you're wondering: "Flee, how the hell do you expect to carry on with this woman? What the hell are you going to talk about, you uncensored maniac?"
Well, we'll just have to see. I hope to keep it laced up and maybe learn a thing or two about the subtler things in life, while maybe I can electrify her with a few expletives every now and then. You know, be the "bad friend" for once, instead of the "good girl."
If it all falls apart, I can just hit the tred by myself again - my bra straps showing and a messy pony tail being the only thing on the crown of my head - knowing that I was too bad-ass to be reckoned with!