Alright, I am finally jumping on the blogging bandwagon! I figure if I can spy on my little brother on Facebook, it is only fair that he can spy on me here.
So.... what to write, what to write?
Ya know, I couldn't keep a written journal for the life of me when I was in school... I'm not sure what makes think I'm going to be able to keep up with the electronic form.
So, I have my entire house to myself. My college roommates are on Spring Break... just as I am coming home from Mexico.
I had no idea it was going to have such a hard time getting back into the swing of things. This week in my cubicle has felt like G'tmo. Fluorescent light has replaced sunlight and my tan is running off my freckled nose screaming. If that isn't torture I don't know what is.
I guess there is always the sunless tanning option... if I am so vain that I need bronzer to be happy.
I was seemingly vain before the wedding in Mexico, because I was practically bathing in the stuff the week before.
I tried two methods. One was the Mystic Tan - much like a car wash where a line of nozzles get ya good from the front and back (you sick F*ck). You may have seen this method on a Friends episode where Ross forgets to turn around and gets sprayed in the face two or three times. The result - Latino man walking in the room, white guy walking out.
Luckily for me, the Mystic Tan turned both of my sides into a Latin man...err, latin looking woman. Over all, the Mystic Tan was a-okay.
The secondary method was called Sun Spritz. This one felt a little "Auschiwitzy" because the gas-like chamber sprays you from 360 degrees. I had to watch an instructional video before the whole process, and the sun princess who worked there, whose skin was actually beef-jerky, kept asking me questions that should've prompted my exit.
Sun princess: "Did you shave before you came?"
me: "uh.. yeah."
SP: "Is your bridesmaids dress backless?"
me: "uh.... no, it's a bridesmaids dress not a hooker get-up."
SP: "Do you think you'll sweat very much in the next 6 hours?"
And so on...
Now most gals, knowing the consequences of their actions would be captured on hundreds of wedding photos for years to come, would've passed on the Sun Spritz.
I however, decided to give her a go.
The video showed a pretty effortless process... the actress covered all her bits with shower caps and barrier cream (aka lottsa lotion) and stepped into the gas chamber smiling, and out of the chamber smiling... and GLOWING!
Fine. I can do this.
Long story short (or long story just a little longer) I stepped into the chamber smiling, and out of the chamber looking like a was trying to push a truck out of the mud.
I think the Sun Spritz is intended for gals round about 5' 10'', because a spray nozzle intended for a much broader surface, hit me full on in the face!
All I can say is thank goodness for my mint blending abilities... I whipped that muddy situation into my own faux beef jerky bodysuit in no time.