The look of the Irish
I was walking in the skywalk today — here in sunny warm Duluth (warm being a relative term of course) and I was noticing how many people wore green today. And I'm not talking about school teachers here... proffesionals — bankers, lawyers, business people.
I wonder how many of these people are actually Irish... or even know anything about Ireland. If you ask me, in MN... St.Paddy's Day is simply a good excuse for a bunch of Scandinavian Lutherans to get drunk during the Lenten Season.
If these people insist on wearing green, it would be nice if they would choose a green that compliments their complexion. There is only one wee little man (namely a leprechaun) who actually looks good in true Kelly green. The rest of us just look like we have a hang-over.
As I continue through the skywalk, I pass the shamefully green —head to toe, ill fitting green velour leggings paired with an oversized ever-green sweater — to the subtly green — a grin that says "I'm wearing green underwear....but you can still pinch me if you wanna."
That's why these people are wearing green right? To avoid being pinched...
Some other St. Paddy's faves: the ever classy green carnation bouquet, the electronic lapel pin of a little fire crotch doing a jig, and of course.... green beer.
I have a very vivid memory of eating too many green bagels and green apple juice one St. Pat's Day when I was young.... the story ends with a giant stomach gurgle and then.... well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
Anyway, back to the skywalk... I'm almost to work and I see the most enthusiastic of them all! We're talking green Mardi-Gras beads, dangly green earrings and shamrock printed knee-highs. I give her a thumbs up and simply say, "you win." She smiles and wide — cause she knows she's kicked some green arse today.
As she walked away, I lowered my head to hide a bitchy giggle. Just as I was opening my eyes, a smirk still on my face, I looked down to realize I was wearing a beaded green tank top under my spring blazer.
Remove foot from mouth... insert green beer.